Debt Problems

marital problems too big to fix?but afraid to divorce and be in debt?

I have been married 4 yrs not so happily and have a 3 yr old son(possibly not his). Hubby and i got married right out of college both of us partyed a lot him more than me during the time we dated he never really grew out partying when we got married causing lots of problems.We both came from similar backrounds neither one of us had ever paid for anything or supported ourselves till we got married needless to say we are in a lot debt now.Hubby has gambling and alchol problems(he gets mad breaks furniture) at present but does not feel he has a problem.He cheated on me our first year of marriage and i had a fling with an ex.bf in retaliation.I got pregnant around this time and we moved to vegas for hubbys job.My son never had a paternity test done but has the same piercing blue eyes the other man has(hubby and i have bown/hazel) i feel guilt whenever i see my son.What to do?

Public Comments

1. divorce. you can't live with an addict (gambling and alcohol) and your child don't deserve to grow up in that environment.
2. What's done cant be undone........... Dont keep on brood over it, instead improve ur lifestyle with ur hubby and son. It shud get better.
3. Call Jerry springer....ok seriously you need to get out of the relationship and if you have too much debt then you may need to file a bankruptcy. Unless you want to live like this for the rest of your life then move on.
4. Believe me, you can live in poverty with this guy and be miserable or in poverty without him and be miserable but with a way out. It's time to pull yourself up by your bootstraps, get a job and get out while the getting is good. P.S. Genetically brown/hazel eyes are dominant so if your little guy has blue...chances are he isn't your hubby's.
5. Go talk to a divorce attorny. A good one will help you ensure you're not taking on you husband's debt. Its expensive up front, but in the long run cheaper.
6. tell your husband about the child. it is wrong to hide it from him It is easy to be place blame on others, but the fact is that you had an affair and you are trying to pass off another man's child as his own. Wrong!
7. Call the Springer show!!!!!! you have one heck of a mess on your hands, I don't see where it matters what your really do, nothing's gonna fix where you are. Anyone that has any advice on this one is spitting in the wind. Good Luck
8. Time to come clean. Be honest and grow up. You have a child now. If your husband doesn't stop drinking and gambling, that's his problem to deal with. You on the other hand are responsible for your own actions. You are both financially responsible for the debt you have. Tell him you're not sure your son is his. Face your consequences and take it like a grown up woman.
9. You need to leave first of all becuse it is not a healthy relationship as it is. Your husband has gambling and drinking problems it wont get any better and the debts will get worse. Do you really want your son to be raised in this enviorment and learn from his fathers actions. belive me I am headed for a divorce also and really scared but I want better for me and my kids so if I have to work 3 jobs ( I already work 2) then I will and knowing that my kids are there will push me to work harder so we can have a better life. If he is breaking the furniture now how doyou know if you and your son arent next.
10. So, you'd rather stay married and go into even deeper debt?! Get out of it as fast as you can,
11. You have answered your own question, marital problems to big to fix, not happily married, son is possibly not your husbands. You are in debt, and your husband gambles and drinks. Breaking furniture means that he has anger issues, uncontrollable anger issues. Are you going to wait until the time that you are damaged instead of a piece of furniture???? Broken furniture can be replaced, but you cannot. Why are you married? You have no respect for each other, and obviously will never have respect or love for each other, considering that he cheated on you and then you retaliated by having a fling with your ex. Your husband has a gambling problem and you are living in Vegas???? You need to get divorced and move on, if your husband does not know he is not your son's father, the day will come when this will come out and do you honestly think that will make anything any better between the two of you??? You do not sound mature enough to be married, let alone a parent. The biggest loser in all of this is your son. Good luck.
12. You two need some heavy duty counseling, you're a mess!
13. Divorce and better your life. Women do it all the time.
14. You should get a divorce and get a DNA test done so he can know the truth. You are a bitch for not telling him after all of this time. You're a woman, so you'll probably get some alimony from him, and he'll probably be on the hook for child support as well whether it is his kid or not, so you'll get that from him.